fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
