Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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