There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
