marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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