i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
