Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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