if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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