My nipple is on Facebook.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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