how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
