we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
