I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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