btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
