Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
