quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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