Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
