I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize