just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
