theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
