Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
