it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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