Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
