i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
