I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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