I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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