the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I sprained my soul last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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