if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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