I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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