I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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