WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
