i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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