part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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