either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
