Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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