loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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