did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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