i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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