you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
