FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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