We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
zippers are such a cool invention
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
