pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
