I want to stick my p in your. b.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
