one might say we're banned from that church
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
