Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
