New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She bit a glass in half.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
