I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
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i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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