I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
