I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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