Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
