I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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