My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
