3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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