My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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