Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wear drunk well.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
