I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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