I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
