i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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