I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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