I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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