She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
