I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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