Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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