We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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