they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
