I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
