Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Is it penis luge time yet?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
