I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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