I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
