Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
