and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Boobs are out for the taking
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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