I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
